Remember the old days when everyone had pagers instead of cellphones? And celluar service was so expensive that we had those walkie-talkie things to talk to people in the same store or in the house?Well thanks to retro-engineering, you can now have loud, obnoxiously rude conversatuions for the entire mall to hear! Thanks to the hands free technology designed for DRIVERS, people whose hands ARE free can still look important and be ready to catch falling babies at a moment's notice.
You can wear your bluetooth to the theatre and be able to chat and eat your popcorn at the same time! You can shop and talk with your girlfriend like she's there with you. Who cares if it sounds like you're talking to and laughing at yourself? Those people staring at you are just jealous of your earpiece.
And lets not forget the kids too broke to afford a headset, they can make loud beeping noises between dialogue and even start throwing in a few "niner"s and "over"s just to throw off the store clerks. Look, you can't be bothered to OPEN your cell phone when it rings. That's child's play.
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